I typically find myself surrounded by interesting characters and my co-workers are not only the most interesting, but the most absurd, ridiculous, inappropriate, borderline UNCOMFORTABLE people to be around ... ever. So, here are some random musings that I have heard this week thus far:
"Chloe and marijuana are the smells of my childhood"
>>because in case you didn't know, the main crop produced on Iowa farms by high-end, perfume wearing hippies (who give handles of gin and tubesocks as gifts for all relevant birthdays), is cannabis.
"You either need to know how to alienate a waiter or play bridge..."
>> all necklaces should come with instructions like this<<
"I don't trust the taco truck. I mean, where do they wash their hands after they've been shakin' their dicks around?!"
>>genuine concerns, obvs...<<
Person 1: "I was wondering if you know anything about the Balfour Declaration...."
Person 2: "No, but I do know that my cousin works at a Holiday Inn Express..."
>>....and they apparently have an issue with visitors cutting holes in their towels. PSA: be courteous, bring your own sex shields.<<
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