The Roommate's Life Alert

A few months ago, someone unbeknownst to me, set up a fancy little Life Alert in my haus for the Roommate. It includes a giant box on my kitchen table and what looks like a Lindsey Lohan house arrest ankle shackle on the Room's wrist. It is necessary to have because I am not home very often and if something does happen, ie: a tumble, a rumble, a fall...the sherry runs out, someone needs to know. 

However, there has never been a serious issue and I don't expect there to be one anytime soon, but this thing does LOVE to have it's false alarms. 

Sometimes I think the kitties jump on the table and press the button and when that does happen, the Rooms is convinced and has vehemently stood by this sentiment numerous times, a voice comes out of the speaker and says "No, no, no, no, get off." For some reason I highly doubt that because every time I   have heard this scary box make ANY noise (I may have fucked up a wire or two during a drink marathon), it says ALERT ALERT ALERT. Also, I don't think whatever automated robot knows that I have two cats. Maybe one, but they don't have all of the knowledge in the world, jeeze. 

But ANYWAY, I get home laaaaate, late, late from work on Saturday night and before even taking off my shoes, I get a phone call from my seester and the conversation goes something like this:

"Whit, what are you doing?"

    "I just walked in the house from work, why?"

"Uh, Roommate's life alert went off, there's an ambulance on the way. Go check on her"

    "Oh this is uh, frightening..."

(It also may have taken some convincing on seesters part to make me actually get the balls to open the door..)

...I go into her room and she's asleep. I say "Roommate, hello!" until she wakes up and jumps out of bed, "OH hi, Whit! I was just resting my legs!"

Well. 

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* Here comes the volunteer fireman from down the block. He comes in to see that there is no problem. And then informs me that an ambulance will be outside of my house due to protocol, but he will take care of it (thanks!). 

But I forgot ambulances have lights...thankfully NO sirens this time. 

But since it was Saturday night, the neighbors were awake and saw the lights and I had to deal with the questioning after. 

SO everything ended up being fine and dandy, but since I took an adderol that night and was sufficiently freaked out, I sat outside for about a hour chain smoking  and then attempted to sleep due to I don't know, work at a stupid early hour and no sleep the previous night (I was being an angel), that didn't work out too well. 

BYEEEE.

Ps. HOLIDAY RETAIL S00kS. But this made me <3 da holidaze.

Also, BROTHER AND SEEESTERFACE come home this WEEKEND. 

XXXo.