I Got Fat Today...

If it were possibly to go from a normal sized individual that you didn't want to vom immediately upon looking at them to morbidly obese in one day, today would be that day. A sad, sad, delicious day. I was bored and watching Louie and mopping the floor amongst my APPLE PIE SCENTED CANDLES was not enough. So I cooked like a mother fucker. But luckily, my body rejects life, so I won't be able  to eat tomorrow & I can still fit into pants  (....maybe...lies, definitely unlikely) !

Becca: Helen, aren't you eating any meat?

Helen: Oh, it's not good to eat a big meal before a fitting, you know? Feel a bit bloated, so.

Megan: Not me. 

Helen: No?

Megan: No. Physically I don't bloat.

Lillian: You're lucky.

Megan: It's a gift.

I cooked some pasta/chicken bullshit for The Roommate, which she was so excited about, but then ate a single bowtie...whatever. AND THEN, THEN I MADE THE BEST FOOD EVER.

Inspired again by #DAILYGRACE ... I made MAC & CHEESE NACHOS.

MOUTH FIESTA.

This is what you do:

PREP- HEAT OVER TO 3fiddy.

Gather various utensils & snaxxx.

-corn chips

-easy mac

-chili

-black beans

-taco stuff

-HAUTE SAUCE

-excess cheese & various accouterments 

Move your cell phone as to not set it on fire ...near accident on my part. 

STEP EINS-Make EASY MAC. 

BUT, when making the cheese mixture...put in taco seasoning and Frank's Red Hot. 

STEP ZWEI- Put an ENTIRE bag of tortilla chips on a baking sheet(that you knew to spray with PA(h)M(n).

STEP DREI- Put Easy Mac on top of le chips. 

STEP VIER- Toss on dem black beans.

STEP FUNF- CHILI alllllll over the place. 

STEP SECHS- CHEESE PLEASIN' ME.

STEP SIEBEN- Get baked...until all melty.

STEP ACHT- NOM.

I did what I could with my materials...but advice, here..take it: AVOCADO AND SOUR CREAM.

And then go to the diner and get bananas foster pancakes and cheese fries to make your insides feel like kittens & sunshine!

XXXO:)