MYSPACE

I remember when I was like, 14 and I would sit my ass on my computer, similar to what I do now ...sans alcohol, and do things like, edit my Myspace, play Neopets but MOST IMPORTANTLY, fill out surveys about myself ..I'm so incredibly narcissistic and bored that I am going to tell you things that I think would make for a good survey...let's get weird:

1. I have 4.5 tattoos. .5 because the one that was supposed to disappear...didn't. SUP St. MARK'S PLACE CLOSET TATZZZZ.
Also may have decided what my next one is going to be...I'll get it after I pay my summons...
YEAH, SIDE BAR: A FUCKING SUMMONS. I mean, I did totally jump over the subway turnstile, but the ticket machines weren't working and traveling makes me anxious. It happened to about 5 people directly after me, so I didn't feel as bad. Hey, MTA fix your 2nd Ave F train...

2. The Goonies is my favorite movie. I want to date the fuck out of the hot older brother who is like 50 something now, slutever.

3. Living alone scares the SHIT out of me. I constantly think there are murderers and ghosts and someone is going to kill me. I go as far as to barricade my bedroom door and calling someone (anyone) when I go to take out the garbage. My paranoia is somewhat justified because I have come home to find the backdoor wide open and my front window screen on the front lawn....woof!

4. When I get drunk all I want is a giant plate of nachos. I buy it, I make it, I just neeeeed them. I may or may not have knocked over my microwave doing so, but they are just so delicious. Last time, I got all types of fancy and put goat cheese on them, blackout baking is best!

5. I fall in love about 15 times a day. Their chances increase 30% if their jeans are cuffed and even more if they're a bartender. This is obviously shallow Whitney speaking, because that whole idea of an actual relationship is incredibly foreign and unobtainable in my eyes. 

6. I'm convinced I should have been an 80's teen/20something. My outfits fit accordingly and I love a guy in tight pants, tattoos & long hair...make up is a plus. JUDGE ME. Rockstars are people too!

7. I am disgustingly unorganized, but it usually works for me. Even my poor computer is a mess. The desktop is cluttered with pictures of fat little boys with mullets, to engagement photos, to 21p videos...it's semi embarrassing...don't even get me started on the jewelry.

8. I'm 98% sure I need to either become a flight attendant or gallivant around the country with a rock band because I am thoroughly unhappy with being in one place for a significant amount of time. A few days, few weeks in a particular place is fine by me. 

And now I'm bored with this too. I'm going to go snack.
BYYYYYYYYYAAAAi.

XX