LOL :-) feat. Gucci Mane & Soulja Boy

A lot of things I do, I do with the intention of prohibiting people from speaking to me, ie: the ultimate sensory depravation system a la How I Met Your Mother -- GIANT hood up, EVEN BIGGER sunglasses (MK Olsen style), noise canceling headphones, coffee in one hand, P-Funk in the other ...and then you walk REALLLLLLY fast. That shows that you have someplace to be and can't stop to talk to ANYONE. Or you can avoid the creepy man staring at you on the subway. You do however have to take it off in certain occasions: you sit next to Paul Rudd on the subway, you are ordering something or you go into a store/are shopping-- DONT BE RUDE TO RETAIL EMPLOYEES.

 But sometimes, some of my schemes backfire. For example, I went to go visit my friend who is a bouncer at a bar because he was having a bad night and the plan was I would stay until the end of his work shift and we would make the trek back to our town. I had just finished an extremely long work day and was not in the mood to deal with predators that congregate at any sort of Irish pub, so I embraced the rolled-out-of-bed-to-go-to-a-twelve-hour-work-shift-which-half-of-was-spent-working-in-a-location-that-was-practically-outdoors (but I did consume the most epic sandwich ever from Subway---buffalo chicken, white american, lettuce, tomato, hot sauce, banana peppers ....holy nom) . 

This look includes: smeared eye makeup, no face makeup (me not bronzing the FUCK out of my cheekbones, what the actual f?) , ill fitting jeans, ACDC t - shirt with giant hole in arm pit, sneakers, ripped Hanes hoodie, scarf, and...the kicker-- imagine the highest possible hair do you could ever do, now combine that with Cindy Lou Hoo and you can imagine the intensity of how high this pony tail was. 

So I see my friends, normal. Have a beer, normal. Have one REALLY cool guy start talking to me and we talk about stuff I like: Dali, writing...not normal. Have a dude go up to my friend and try to get him to set us up, not normal. 

And both complimented the fact that I was wearing my hair like that. And that they liked ACDC. Etcetera.

Thank you gentlemen for enabling me to dress like a homeless person and not try. Although I was not in the mood to talk to you, I am pleased that dressing like a slob is socially acceptable and I will never get ready again. 

FREEDOM.

LOL :-)