The Roommate's Habits

Every female is a brat/ their own brand of crazy and that shit sure as hell doesn't end when you age and/or mature...whatever that means. NEVER GROW UP, GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE. We all have weird habits, like, me for example, I sit in the dark, I won't let people touch my food, if you have a pimple on your back, I will attack it....I'm annoying...as is The Roommate. My biggest pet peeve about her, is her awkward giggle reaction to EVERYTHING...because the whole "I-can't-hear-and-have-no-idea-what-you-said-so-it-must-be-funny" sentiment is SO INTELLIGENT. 

Another fun thing she does, is constantly and persistently suggest the idea of take-out. Sometimes that is great (especially when she pays and moments like five minutes ago where I smashed the absolute shit out of an entire order of dumplings) but, a lot of the time, I have either cooked, just gotten groceries OR EVEN BETTER, it's at about 10 AM prior to my first cofferette break of the day. AND also, who wants take-out at 10 AM? Confusion contusion. 

So let's just say I play along and get take-out. I make her pick out what she wants and upon arrival, she does the usual and EATS. NOTHING.  She claims to hate everything she orders or have no idea what it is because apparently Law & Order brainwashes you so intensely that you no longer remember what pasta takes like. 

NEEDLESS TO SAY, this gets annoying but I do get semi-concerned (not really) that she isn't eating... aka I get annoyed that I spend money on groceries that she specifically asks for and wastes...and I say something along the lines of: hey gurl, looks like you haven't touched a single thing or cooked anything, ya hungry? 

she says: you never eat, why should I? 

 >>>LIES! I've had Chipotle at least three times this week so far and eat like a linebacker, so we know she is just being a brat<<<

Also, what kinda of ass backwards excuse is that!? 

One thing she will eat and has eaten every. single. day. for the past six months, is hard boiled eggs. Smashed in a bowl, with butter....and then microwaved. VOMIT. 

Another favorite activity of hers, is to get alcohol delivered to the house. I didn't realize she was doing this until I realized, she never ran out of Sherry...

(besides that one time when my friends came over after the bar closed and we decided to have After Hours...but we had no booze besides the sherry...and the "to-go" cups my friends (bartenders) brought when they were done with work. Last night both of them were working, so we did shots of sherry to commemorate that odd night...needless to say, people were somewhat confused by our choice, INSIDEINSIDEINSIDEYOKE).

I didn't particularly care that she does this until I wander into my kitchen during said delivery (whilst in a semi-hungover stupor) and found a boy who was in my AP Biology class (also was the delivery boy, BIO was more important)  being held hostage with stories about mail...and Native Americans or something...I quickly ushered him out, but he did manage to sneak in a comment about my hang over hair...see here: 

I hope that haunts your dreams. 

XXXo.